Intensity + Practice Brings Movement

January has been an intense month. I started the year with family in Indiana, having also just traveled to Colorado to visit friends. I came back and stepped into greater leadership at work. I also started working at home full time, which has its own set of challenges. All this intensity has been coupled with a lot of emotional and energetic movement. All kinds of old stuff is being released (yay!), but it’s been intense.

My intentions this month have been critical in supporting me! How did I do?

1. 30 minutes of meditation. every day.

Since I started January 4, I have meditated 30 minutes or more for 24 of 26 days. One of those days I had an intense somatics session in which I was deeply in touch with what was going on in my body. The other day, I meditated 15 minutes, before I ended up in bed trying not to get sick. Both of those “failures” actually seem like great examples of bringing mindfulness of the body off the cushion and more fully into my life. So I will count them as successes.

This is an amazing transformation in my life. Just three years ago, I was working on a daily meditation practice in which I would meditate 2 minutes per day. Working my way up to 10 minutes was a major achievement. For major periods, I have had no daily practice and have just tried to attend as many meditation classes as possible to make sure that I get regular mindfulness classes in. To have sat for 30 minutes nearly every day, mostly at my own house on my own cushion, and to have that flow with ease – this is a testament to the intention I kept even when my practice seemed so minimal. I kept doing intentional practice anyway, and it’s finally bearing fruit.

2. When in doubt, “What’s the next right thing to take care of myself?”

As I noted, this worked in the most sneaky way possible. I get completely lost about the next right thing sometimes. Especially if I’m torn between taking care of myself and taking care of something on my to do list.

This month, I took the decision making power out of my hands, and just randomly decided. I don’t care if it’s sneaky, because it’s totally working.

3. Be laser focused at work

I have had to be even more focused than anticipated, as a co-worker has been out sick for 10 days. That leaves just me to do everything.

A lot of my “I’m all alone!!!” buttons have been pushed this week, exacerbated when some of my requests for help have been turned down. As has been true of a lot of my buttons that have been pushed recently, it’s really just the last remnants of an old button that has been healed. The one last step is to notice that the structure of the button is still there and needs dismantled. It’s been a review of all my old issues, and a confirmation of all the healing that has happened.

4. Be nourished in friendship

I have both taken in a lot of connection this month, and felt really isolated this month. Some of the isolation is very specific – I have few people to process work-related things with, without feeling like my friends should start invoicing my workplace.

I also am just reaching that one year mark after moving, and I know the typical feeling at this point is that I have many local acquaintances, but few local people with whom I can be fully, authentically me.

Given those challenges, I feel like I’ve done a good job at taking in the nourishment that is available to me, and seeking out additional support and connection even when it feels awkward. I made several new connections with people that have the potential to deepen into the kinds of relationships I want. And that feels good.

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One response to “Intensity + Practice Brings Movement

  1. Pingback: Level Two | Off Trajectory

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