What’s Working?

A mid-month revue of January not-resolutions:

1. 30 minutes of meditation. every day.

Twelve days. Thirty minutes every day. I’m kind of afraid to look at this, as it might set off the part of me that’s totally freaked out by meditation.

What’s worked? I vary the actual practice, sometimes doing 15 minutes of sitting followed by 15 minutes of walking. Days where it feels especially hard to sit down, I listen to a guided meditation to provide a stronger container. Also, I’m not trying to do it the same time everyday. There’s some flexibility built into that which is helpful to me.

What might I try in the future? The day I almost skipped was an emotionally intense day, and I’d had a somatics appointment that had elements of being with my present experience. Couldn’t I just count this as meditation?

I still had it on my randomized to do list, and it popped up as the first thing to do. So I did it. I’m glad I did as it helped me shake off more of the old emotions that had been stirred up during the day. And it helped me feel extra committed to my practice.

Note to me: When I practice on days I’d rather not, those are the days I look back on to decide whether I’m “really” committed to practice.

2. When in doubt, “What’s the next right thing to take care of myself?”

I feel like this is working in a sneaky way. I’m not sure I’m regularly asking this question. But with self care being mixed into my to do list, when it randomly comes up it feels easy to do as the next right thing. And if something pops into my head, I feel like I can go ahead and just do it.

My room is clean. I cooked lots of food last week and still have good things to eat for lunch today. I’ve journaled a lot, meditated, danced, connected with good people. And it all feels rather easy.

What I might try: I’m going to keep just letting this work. Use the randomized to do list, and also just do things as they occur to me. I can brainstorm more if/when this no longer works.

3. Be laser focused at work

Yes. I sat down to work Friday morning, and felt spaciousness. After a busy full week of big decisions, I was not contracted. This after a day unexpectedly sitting with a volunteer for a few hours stuffing envelopes and chatting about the big picture.

What worked: I function with more ease within the container of the big picture, of agreeing to what will be worked on and what will be ignored.

What I might try in the future: The organization I work for is not yet used to setting a big picture of priorities and then sticking to it. I anticipate a need to continue to return to the big picture and make adjustments. Maybe weekly until we get it reset in our bones that this is how we will do things.

4. Be nourished in friendship

I have enjoyed a mix of in person connections and phone conversations so far this month. I have taken in the loveliness each of these people offer in my life. Nourishment in connection is so important to me. I took in a lot this week.

What might I try differently? I also had a week filled with frustration and anger, some current, most old. Because that was my theme of the week, I found it easy to get frustrated with my people. As often happens, that came out most often in my closest relationships, while I had more ease with people I am getting to know. This says more about my comfort level with expressing frustration and anger in the world, than it does about the quality of my close relationships.

How can I expand my ability to express frustration and anger, into realms beyond my close and safe relationships? How can I safely hold my frustration while not spewing it around on everyone around me? I should make a sign to wear: “Approach with caution! I’m spewing fire this week.”


3 responses to “What’s Working?

  1. Pingback: What To Do Next? The Magic of Random | Rooting Nonprofits

  2. Pingback: Intensity + Practice Brings Movement | Off Trajectory

  3. Pingback: Entry Wishes | Rooting Nonprofits

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