Approaching Satisfaction

In the spirit of sharing rituals, I thought I’d let you all in on my monthly goal setting and the weekly check-ins I do to see if I’m on track. As I go to post this, it feels a little bland, like I need to make this check-in into a chicken.  For now, I’ll trust that it will develop into something fabulous as we go. I’m trying to practice just starting things, rather than waiting until they are perfect. Here goes!

How did we do this week?

After last week’s laziness, I felt mostly calm, confident and productive this week. I am not sure I did any less or more than last week. I was just more satisfied.

1. Be pro-active about negotiating job & housing. Feel great about my future story.

I’ve been describing my current story as being “in limbo.” That makes me feel stuck, at the whims of the gods, perhaps something eternal. I’d like a new metaphor. Perhaps I need to call on Metaphor Mouse? I need something more about possibility, adventure, openness, excitement.

2. Focus on closing up past gigs, and only taking on new gigs that PAY WELL.

I’m considering one project closed (though I’ll check in next week when I send my final invoice). Another is still slow as molasses, and it totally brings me down. I worked on it last night, and while it only required 30 minutes of actual work, I needed a huge break after it because it just stirs me up emotionally to not be done with it. At least the break included tea and a friend. I’m just noticing what a time suck it is when I don’t want to do something, and it helps to just name that it’s going to need a little extra space. And it helps to know that other smart, brilliant and capable people have their own Inowanna Iguanas!

It also helps that it’s crunch time for my best paying gig. It’s a great reminder of how great it can feel to help people with their finances when they appreciate and respect my contributions.

3. Get blogging services online

I drafted a long rambling post this morning that could probably get chunked down into a series on racism and oppression for Rooting Nonprofits. I’ve got an inkling of an intention that I will start doing more writing, even if it’s not being published – morning pages, draft posts. I get myself stuck sometimes in the “I need to post” pressure.

4. Pay attention to Fiscal Reform Committee regularly – get very focused on the next right steps

FRIC is officially moving forward into advocacy! Whoo hoo! It’s a good reminder to me of how coalition work works. There’s a lot of phone calls, casual emails, conversations behind the scenes to gauge where everyone is. Especially to be checked in with leadership and strong voices around the table. After doing that work, I basically just had to sit back and watch the meeting play itself out to the direction I wanted it to go.

I did some check-ins the next day as well about what worked and what wasn’t so great. It’s good practice for me to be on the phone a lot more than I like to be. I think I made 4 phone calls this week about FRIC, including some I wasn’t that excited to make. This is the kind of experience, learning, and progress I wanted to make by working on this project, so I’m glad it’s happening!

5. Make $900/week

I’m still feeling the awkwardness of “It’s gauche to talk about how much money you make. Much less in a public forum!” Yet being off trajectory is about pushing back against some of these societal rules. My intention here is to track my mix of salary and freelance income so we can all better understand what it looks like to piece together enough income to pay the bills and enjoy life.

I made $1049 this week. Whoo hoo! A combo of regular job ($744) & freelance ($305) . What’s hard is this still doesn’t quite balance out a $700 week a couple weeks ago. No paid vacation is a real bummer.

6. Find a balance of movement, meditation, friendship, art, & laughter that supports my busy life

Hung out with a couple of good friends I haven’t connected with in awhile. We are all in our own versions of limbo which makes planning to get together kind of challenging. I faced my “what do choices” with greater ease this week – whether deciding who to spend time with, or deciding to just stay home for an evening.

I was glad to do more meditation and Hiro’s Sovereignity Kindergarten class. I also enjoyed more writing and reading that’s been on my list forever: Tales of the City and This Bridge We Call Home. Tonight will be Music in the Mountains – I’m very curious how I will feel watching an amazing pianist at his art of piano! Movement still feels hard – either too hot or too rainy. I am doing a lot of Dance of Shiva (crazy brain-training yoga), and trying to be intentional about walking to work and around the neighborhood.

Sharing my weekly check-ins feels like it’s helping me feel safe, more comfortable to delve into deeper blog posts again. I’ve got a lot going on internally from being in limbo, and it’s a bit scary to put that out for 6 billion people to see. Thanks for your love and support in this process!

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