Back on Track

In the spirit of sharing rituals, I thought I’d let you all in on my monthly goal setting and the weekly check-ins I do to see if I’m on track. As I go to post this, it feels a little bland, like I need to make this check-in into a chicken.  For now, I’ll trust that it will develop into something fabulous as we go. I’m trying to practice just starting things, rather than waiting until they are perfect. Here goes!

How did we do this week?

I always seem to test the waters with myself when starting new rituals. Early on, I need to resist the timing of the ritual and get off schedule. Do I panic? Beat myself up for failing yet another daily or weekly practice? I’ve learned to resist those patterns, and just get back on the horse. Even if it’s late, even if I’ve skipped a few, it’s more helpful for me to just recommit rather than wallow in the imperfections of it all.

1. Be pro-active about negotiating job & housing. Feel great about my future story.

No new negotiating action this week. I am trying to stay engaged in my story about how I would love life to be, without being tied to a particular way that it turns out. It feels like it would be much easier to just indulge in a fantasy story, or completely check out. This could be part of why I’m avoiding the phone call about housing, as I’m leaning toward being checked out. I need to just do it anyway.

2. Focus on closing up past gigs, and only taking on new gigs that PAY WELL.

I’m still in a bit of limbo with two projects that I’m trying to close up. One may turn into a bit more work at a lower rate that I’m happy with. It’s hard to hardline nonprofits who are in financial problems. Note to self on how terrible I am at saying no, at moving on from things I’ve been tied to.

3. Get blogging services online

Finished Community Resource Center blog post. Whoo hoo! Next step – update “About” page on Rooting Nonprofits.

4. Pay attention to Fiscal Reform Committee regularly – get very focused on the next right steps

I finalized the schedule with Coloradans for Responsible Reform to come to Durango July 20-21, and I provided some updates to people. I watched how I take on a little too much, and then totally avoid all the work to be done so I have an excuse for why I only got the essential done.

5. Make $900/week

I’m still feeling the awkwardness of “It’s gauche to talk about how much money you make. Much less in a public forum!” Yet being off trajectory is about pushing back against some of these societal rules. My intention here is to track my mix of salary and freelance income so we can all better understand what it looks like to piece together enough income to pay the bills and enjoy life.

Eek, only $701 this week ($582 at my regular job, and $119 at freelancing).  Going out of town on Friday for the weekend definitely lowers my totals for the week. So does a Monday holiday – even though I did some work that day, my brain is kind of on vacation. I also spent a lot of time avoiding work this week, trying to process my reactions to work. Valuable if not paid. This is good information about how low my pay goes when I go out of town.

6. Find a balance of movement, meditation, friendship, art, & laughter that supports my busy life

Laughter & fun with two dear friends in Boulder! The art of burlesque is amazing, it draws me in. I realized that the only reason I’m not a burlesque performer yet is that I don’t trust my own ability to create a dance. I could get on stage anytime, could be part of a troupe if one existed. But to develop my own piece??? Where do I start? The last week of the class on Desire, Aversion, & Delusion – the 3 Roots of Existence makes me a little sad to have missed 2 classes. I hate feeling pulled in two or three important directions at once.

About half way through the month! How are your goals & intentions going? What’s been good & not-so-good this week? What needs attention next week?

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