Check-in: 2010.5

An almost mid-year check-in for my version of New Year’s Resolutions.

In the spirit of New Year’s Resolutions: What are you willing to fail at this year? For me:

  • Weekly blog posts
  • A daily meditation practice
  • Asking for too much time off of work
  • Working less, making more

The theme of the year? Consistently showing up for myself.

Weekly blog posts: I’m successfully failing at this, writing just 5 posts since the New Year on this blog and 2 on Rooting Nonprofits. I’ll appreciate that I’ve written at least a few things, since my judgmental memory thought I hadn’t written a single thing. And I’ll appreciate that I’ve mostly been kind to myself about not blogging regularly. I’m keeping pretty busy these days.

A daily meditation practice: I’m successfully succeeding at this one. A meditation retreat at Spirit Rock this April helped me settle my practice into 15 minutes a day. I miss a few days here and there, but I feel really solid about this and if I miss 2 days in a row I start jonesing for some time on the cushion.

Asking for too much time off of work: I’m successfully floundering around in this one. The good girl in me doesn’t want to push the boundaries too far. I don’t want to deal with the fall out of having someone react to how much time I’m taking off. But seeing that this was something I intentionally wanted to push the boundaries on, as a practice in failing and seeing just how much leeway exists in a job, I’m tempted to push the boundaries a little farther on this one.

Working less, making more: I’m both succeeding and failing at this one. I’m earning a higher hourly wage than I have the rest of my life, which is allowing me to only work part time. But that hasn’t really changed since I set this intention at the beginning of the year. I need to ramp it up even more … time to negotiate a raise!

Consistently showing up for myself: It’s not quantifiable, but I think I’m succeeding at this more than I ever have. I’m pretty keyed in to my needs and focused on getting them met. I love the brain trick of being a servant to the sovereign King, as in “Queen Dawn is hungry and must eat soon. Be sure it’s the freshest, most delectable food available. It’s the Queen!” Might as well use it to my advantage that it’s easier to take care of “others” than it is to take care of “myself”!

Overall: A good mix of success & failure. If I was rocking everything, I probably didn’t stretch my goals high enough! Especially since my overarching goal was to practice more failure. Dance of Shiva – yoga for the brain – has also been a stellar practice in failing miserably in an effort to grow and rewire my brain.

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