Definition 1 : to give up, refuse, or resign usually by formal declaration
I chafe at the Buddhist concept of renunciation. I have too long lived a life of renunciation – but based on outside references about what I should do or who I should be. Or based on internalize references that said if I only renunciated a little more, if only I needed a little bit less, then perhaps I would receive the love I so desperately wanted. Neither of these is a path of renunciation based on a desire for good living, wise living, awake living. Rather than renunciation, they are perhaps annihilation.
Definition 2 : to refuse to follow, obey, or recognize any further
Being “Off Trajectory” is about refusing to follow any external references that say I “should” or “must” follow some particular path. It is about following my own rules, my own heart, even if it leads me into a place that appears far from renunciation. Because I lived too long renouncing my desires based on external ideas about what I should do, my path now leads me on a pendulum swing back toward reveling in sensuality. While this appears to be the opposite of renunciation as typically thought of, its truly a renouncing that external rules will bring happiness and contentment. I’m sure I’m not the only one who needs to enjoy the senses in order to break out of this Puritan work ethic into something with more freedom.