Green Orgy

I’m visiting an old stomping ground next week. I am looking forward to hanging out with friends, spending time in my favorite eateries and watering holes, and letting work take a back seat for a few days.

Today’s question is: Should I look up any old flames for a round of ex sex?

Or maybe I should track down those folks I had always secretly had a crush on, and flirt shamelessly now that I don’t have to worry about small town repercussions of getting it on with too many people in the same social circle?

On hard questions like these, the best advice always comes from Google chatting with friends:

me: my question i have for my trip is … do i want to sleep with anyone??!?
G:  I dunno, why not?
(living vicariously)
me:  everything feels small town complicated …….
G:  oh, but you don’t live there anymore!
me:  maybe i should just fuck ‘em all
G:  at the same time!
me:  hahaha
G:  probably save on gas that way

Yes folks, I should arrange an orgy amongst my past flames, because it’s clearly the most environmentally conscious choice!

We’ve found the real reason those tree huggers have always been about free love.

Sex Positive and/or Anti-Violence

Great conversation happening with Kelly Diels and friends – how do we make sense of the contradictions that make up our core beliefs? Must we side with one camp or another? Or is there space to reconcile beliefs that don’t quite fit with each other?

I’m most intrigued by the contradictions Kelly points out in feminism and sexuality:

Want to be able to discuss violence against women and the importance of claiming your sexual pleasure without setting up permanent camp – or throwing rocks – at either end of the philosophical spectrum.

I’m internally contradicted about how to respond to this. While I absolutely believe that most people under 40 get into rape crisis work because they are pro-sex, I also saw the devastation that rape crisis work wreaked on our sex lives. It’s hard to feel very pro-sex when the thought of sex makes you want to curl into the fetal position. Or when your brain starts replaying scenes from every rape ever described to you just before you reach orgasm. Or when your own past trauma is so close to the surface from all the talk of rape, that every touch is a potential trigger. Rape crisis work is a major hazard to healthy positive sexuality.

What would the rape crisis movement look like if we revolutionized it to be a pro-sex movement at heart? If rape crisis centers were outgrowths of positive sex spaces, rather than the other way around?