If Only All of Life was Apples to Apples

In July, I started sharing my Sunday ritual of monthly goal setting and the weekly or mid-month check-ins. I have a bad habit of forgetting how much change happens over the course of a month, so this check-in helps me remember to celebrate all that I do!

OCTOBER Goals

1. Clear priorities for political campaigning

It’s the final whirlwind month before the November 2nd election. I’m terrified that crazy tea party candidates like Ken Buck will be elected here in Colorado. But I barely have time to do more than post on Facebook about how Ken Buck must be defeated. I’m swamped with organizing against 60-61-101, a trio of ballot initiatives that would devastate Colorado. More jobs lost on top of those lost in the recession, the state would take over control over local schools, and we wouldn’t be able to build basic things like roads, bridges, or state buildings. Anyone reasonable (read: anyone not in the tea party) thinks these are a terrible idea. Unfortunately, the tea party are energized and fired up and ready to vote. The rest of us are a tad bit apathetic.

So it’s been hard to set boundaries around the political organizing. Because OMG. What if our state and country are taken over by radical extremists? It’s freaking me out. I’m doing a good job at least of setting priorities for the work that needs to be done, and I took all of Friday off because I was burnt after a week of long days and nights. Well, most of Friday off because I was incensed to come home to a Vote Yes mailer, paid for by the “nonprofit” group Active Citizens Together, a known front for Douglas Bruce to hide campaign expenditures from the public. GAH!

Noticings for the next time I’m this engaged in a political campaign: the final weeks require a lot of quick response time. Make sure to leave time for that, and to develop agreements with your team beforehand about how to make quick decisions about how to respond to crazy mailers like this one.

2. Apply for fantastic jobs in San Francisco

I applied for a dream job with Spirit Rock Meditation Center. There is no timeline listed on the announcement, but it’s still up so I’m going to assume that means they are still in the accepting applications stage of the game. I’m also in conversations with another Bay Area nonprofit about providing some help to them.

I’m occasionally scanning the job ads, but only applying to the perfect jobs at this point.

3. Post some of the great writing I’ve been doing on the blogs

Yes! This week, watch Rooting Nonprofits for a series on Buddhism and nonprofit management. I wrote SO MUCH for this job application at Spirit Rock that had to be cut down to a cover letter. So the cuts are going up on the blog instead! I’m posting segments of an essay I wrote that helped me flesh out how my experience led to my philosophy of leadership.

The process was a good lesson in how hard I have to work to write what I want to go on my other blog. It’s a lot of rounds of editing and re-editing. But I have hope for more writing over there now that the dam has broken again!

4. Maintain the things that sustain me – meditation, eating well, an organized house, and time with friends

Gorgeous hikes to enjoy Colorado’s fall colors. No pictures sadly, I was just out enjoying myself. I struggled with eating well – too many 5-8pm meetings. I need to remember to have more quick food available when that schedule is my life. There was just no time to cook. I’m enjoying the Essential Dharma class, and have turned my house into something manageable again. I’m sure it will be a wreck by Tuesday.

Apples to Apples is the best game ever. Pure giggles & laughter.

I love when the universe gives me what I need, instead of what I think I want

In July, I started sharing my Sunday ritual of monthly goal setting and the weekly or mid-month check-ins. I love that it gives me a way to notice how things are shifting in my life, and an excuse to check in and tell y’all about it.

SEPTEMBER Goals

1. More space

I joined Goddess Leonie’s Goddess Circle and am enjoying her Creating Your Goddess Haven course. I loved that the first task was creating an altar. By “loved” this first task, I of course mean that I totally rolled my eyes and thought “I have no space to create an altar, everything is covered with clutter and that’s just going to make a bigger mess and how’s it going to help anything anyway??!?”

My oasis of simplicity

I tried it anyway, thinking I had little to lose. I could always put things back where they belonged – in a huge knotty pile of junk. So I pushed aside a pile and made a space for a pretty placemat, on which I put a favorite candle and a small piece of pottery with some crystals in it. That was it for the altar, because my altar was about creating space and simplicity. I lit the candle and honored my new little space of tranquility.

Three weeks later, my altar radiates space and simplicity to the rest of my house. Even after getting sick and busy the past couple of weeks, my altar is still a little oasis of simplicity and calm in the middle of my house. I see how pretty my altar looks, and I want so badly to have the space next to it look just that pretty.

2. Clear lines between work time, play time, rest time (i.e. less time web surfing)

I am still playing with the lines between these three. Adding a Facebook Page for on of my community organizing projects has blurred these lines and made web surfing “work” (for those interested in Colorado’s future – whether you live here, want to move here, or just like to visit – check out It’s 2010, not 1910. Vote No on 60, 61, and 101). Really, checking our Facebook Page 30 times a day to see how many followers we have is important!

I need a couple of different kinds of work periods. One kind is a chunk of time to focus on one project that needs brainpower. Another kind is a chunk of time to respond to a bunch of items that take 5 minutes or less. Yes, I know I realized this a bazillion years ago when I read Getting Things Done. But it is one of the things that is hard about my freelancer’s lifestyle. It feels easier to be “on the clock” for one person for a period of time, and then switch to another project for a chunk of time. It’s hardest for me to do more seamless switching because I actually show up for one of my jobs, even though I think of it as freelancing. I might play with this different kind of project time periods this week, and report back.

3. Movement: Just do it.

Ha! Hahahahahahahaha! I love when the universe gives me what I need, instead of what I think I want. I finally went to Tara Mandala yesterday, a Tibetan Buddhist center just 80 miles away from Durango. I thought the afternoon Global Mala Ritual looked like a great opportunity to see the ornate temple dedicated to feminine spirituality.

Global Mala Ritual Offering

Perhaps I am just out of the loop, but nothing about this picture said to me, “You will be doing 108 Sun Salutations in the middle of an ornate temple for 3 hours.” It’s a good thing I didn’t know, because I would have never signed up for that trip.

While it wasn’t quite the meditative connection I’d been hoping for, it was an influx of movement through my body that I’ve been both longing for and resisting. Being sick the past couple of weeks, I have been doing just some simple movements: Shiva Nata and Restorative Yoga. The 108 Sun Salutations came right as I am starting to feel better and needed a big flush of my system. Thank you, universe!

Moving, Attachment, Loss, Gain

I spent much of the day yesterday helping a friend pack up her home and start moving. This morning I read this lovely poem by Hiro Boga: Going Away and about Jen Louden’s determination to just stay put. The rupture that is moving is on my mind.

I usually think moving is easy for me – a childhood of moving has helped me be more flexible, make new friends quickly, and live rather minimally to make the physical process of moving simpler. Odd then to talk with another friend yesterday who said, “A childhood of moving has made me want to hang on to more stuff, ground myself with physical mementos of the places I’ve lived.” He needs a thread of home visible in the stuff that surrounds him.

Odd too to watch my friend – an admitted shopaholic and hoarder – sort through her piles of crafting supplies to decide what will get moved, what will be stored, and what should just be trashed. The crafter in her sees the possibility in everything; her gift is that she sees what everything could be, rather than what it actually is. The emotional connection to each tiny, sweet thing she imagines is so deep, I felt like I was asking a mother to abandon her child when I would ask if she could give up on that tiny, sweet crafting project she held in her mind’s eye. Heartbreak. Devastation. I could only push her to let go of so much. The early steps of the process of learning how to let go of lesser projects so we can have time for our best projects is itself a tiny, sweet thing.

I feel like there are lessons in all this for me too, but for now I’m just full of questions. Am I avoiding something by not hanging on to a thread of home? Yes, there’s something to be said about not being overly attached, but there’s also a problem in pushing away a deep longing for home. Where am I on this continuum of attachment and avoidance? How much of my pull to move to San Francisco is me just continuing to bounce around to find some semblance of home outside of me?

And while I’m not one to be hugely attached to things, I am ridiculously attached to so many projects to organize my community for good. How do I practice letting go of lesser projects so I can have time for my best projects? I sense that I keep my little projects not only because they are a tiny, sweet thing that deserves love, but because I’m terrified of what might happen if I choose one or two to raise into beautiful adult projects. What if I choose the wrong ones? What if they get out of hand? What if they don’t turn out as I’d hoped?

So much fear. So much at stake. So much loss. So much to gain. Stuck at the crossroads is a hard place to be.